The End of White Glove Hashing: A Decree of Self-Sufficiency
Hear ye, hear ye!
Citizens of Von Tramp,
For the past four and a half years, your Benevolent Tyrants have provided a level of service rarely seen in the hashing world. I have spent my Thursday nights like a flour-dusted Cinderella, filling bottles, inventorying PBRs, hosing down coolers, and ensuring that every Hare had a pre-packed kit of "Suckcess" handed to them on a silver platter (or in a cooler).
Those days are over. The "White Glove" service is officially being retired and starting May 1st, Von Tramp is moving to a "Relay & Reimburse" model.
The New Logistics (Or How to Not F*** This Up)
Starting May 1st, we are no longer your servants. If you are signed up to Hare, you are officially a Proxy Tyrant. Please enjoy this title responsibly. This means you have the power to choose the beer and the snacks, but you also have the responsibility of buying them yourself and passing the coolers to the next Hare.
Here is the new workflow:
The Hand-off: You are responsible for coordinating with the previous Hare to acquire the "Tramp Kit" (the coolers, bags, flour, beers, and whatever dignity is left in them). You will also make sure the coolers are nice and clean before you refill them with anything.
The Procurement: You will go to the store like a grown-adult and purchase your own supplies:
The Flour: Enough to mark a trail that even the RAs can follow (typically 10 lbs get used per trail).
The Beer/Seltzer: Mostly PBRs and a reasonable assortment of "not-too-expensive" seltzers, ciders and N/As.
The Orange Food: High-quality, name-brand processed snacks. Off-brand orange dust is also allowed.
The Hand-off (Part 2): After your trail, you must coordinate with the next Hare on the schedule to pass the torch (and the coolers). My garage is no longer the storage unit for your lack of coordination.
The "Bank of Von Tramp"
Because I have finally gotten around to it, Von Tramp H3 is now officially official and has an EIN, a Bank Account, and—most importantly—an Real Venmo Business Account. Please clap.
The New Venmo: @vontramph3
Moving forward, this is the ONLY source for payments. Do not send money to my personal Venmo. Do not try to pay me in tokens from Archives or "good vibes."
The Reimbursement Process: Once your trail is over, simply send me a photo of your receipts. I will then use the official coffers to reimburse you via Venmo. This ensures that I stop dipping into our personal bank account to fund your drinking habits, and you get to feel the power of "spending the Tyrant’s money".
The Bottom Line
Despite Venmo taking a small "convenience fee" for the privilege of existing, we are keeping Hash Cash at $6.9. Why? Because it’s a funny number, and we’re committed to the bit.
However, to make sure we can keep our new bank account happy, we ask that all Hares doing the following:
Be aware of the price of what they’re buying.
Try to limit your 30-rack purchase to $23 and seltzer/ciders/etc to around $18 (including deposits).
A last minute purchases at Maplefields.
Note that we will not reimburse any baggos, shots, or whatever else you think your trail needs.
These changes save me roughly four hours every other week of breathing in flour dust and playing Tetris with coolers in my trunk. Use that extra time to thank me for my service, or better yet, sign up to Hare and prove you can handle the responsibility.
On-On,
Flexible Video Endoscope
Tyrant (and newly self-appointed CFO) of Von Tramp H3
