When: Saturday, March 7, 2026, 1:00 PM HST
Where: Milton Square Shopping Center, 197 US-7, Milton, VT
Hares: Drunk in the Trunk and 20 Gallons of Piss
What to bring: $6.9 hash cash, burning questions, thoughtful answers, togas with sneakers, marble busts of great thinkers

On March 7th way back way in 322 BC the famous greek philosopher and polymath Aristotle passed away from a bad tummy ache. Our hares, Drunk in the Toga and 20 Thoughts of Piss, will be honoring his memory and all the crazy thoughts those ancient Greeks and Roman’s had that poisoned everyone’s good times. And you’ll all help out by turning this into a TOGA TRAIL!

Wrap yourself in your least favorite sheet and get ready to stromp around Milton while questioning your reality and morality. Run, walk and debate such profound questions like:

• What is the fundamental substance of the universe?

• How do change and constancy coexist?

• What makes something what it is?

• Is a trail truly a trail if it’s only on the road?

• What is the true nature of a Pabst Blue Ribbon?

• Why is Malört?

Cum with questions. Cum with answers. Cum because trail isn’t two hours away and the on-after is at a pretty sweet, local pizza place.